you live half your life

&& you fake the rest

Use Me Up by Hanson <3

Somebody let me down
Somebody show me love
I wouldn't care much either way

I'd rather the sticks and stones
Than dragging the ball and chain
What if the world won't take me?

Even if the hole should crack
Even if the blood flows red
Nothing could be worse than numb

Please, use me up
I just want anyone
To use me up
'Cause no one ever does
Use me up

I've carried it all too long
The fear of the pain it brings
Feeling the panic building up

I'd rather the broken heart
Than living the emptiness
What if the world won't save me?

Even if the bough should break
Even if the blood runs cold
Nothing could be worse than numb

Please, use me up
I just want anyone
To use me up
'Cause no one ever does
Use me up
Use me up

Treat me somewhere cruel
You can throw me away as long as I feel it
Show me something real

You can deceive me
I am yours to use
Use me up
Use me up
Use me up

Uninvited by Alanis Morissette
Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot-blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd need shepherd
But you you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate

Ow, my fucking tooth.
fingertips have memories; mine can't forget the curves of your body...

reading over the facts makes me miss you like crazy. sweet dreams to what we had and hello to new beginnings. i'm glad i'm finally over you. but please, give me a minute to mourn the passing of the past and wave hello to the arrival of today. this way i won't be suprised when i never see you again.

Go sit in the waiting room until you can stop flipping ppl off!
I'm more confused then ever. I don't know how he feels and I wish I did. I like him alot, so much, and I wish things weren't so weird.

Quotes, stanzas, and verses from my poetry scrapbook/inspiration book.

'Be my guest upon sea voyages and small town circuses, write all your big words in little letters just to see if you can still pack a punch. and i, myself, am not partaking in much but shamjobs and astrophysics. Placing numbers before letters, i'm really just trying to put the wires back together and connect your place to mine.'


'and i've passed by the windows,
honey colored squares of light framing girls writing things
on their arms in red, and girls
arched over porcelain bowls, heaving and heaving into
pleasurable climax,
sacrificing their insides to an imaginary lover.'


'don't bother saying you're sorry / why don't you come in / smoke all my cigarettes again
everytime i get no further / how long has it been?
come on in now, wipe your feet on my dreams / you take up my time / like some cheap magazine / when i could have been learning something / oh well, you know what i mean
i've done this before / and i will do it again / come on and kill me baby / while you smile like a friend / oh and i'll come running just to do it again'


'but we leave the sound on cause the silence is harder,
and no one's the killer and no one's the martyr;
the world that has made us can no longer contain us.'


'take me, take me back to your bed
i love you so much that it hurts my head
i don't mind you under my skin
i'll let the bad parts in, the bad parts in

well, you're my favorite bird and when you sing
i really do wish that you'd wear my ring
no matter what they say i am still the king
and the storm is coming,
the storm is coming in'


'how he'd love to find your tongue in his teeth,
in a struggle to find secret songs that you keep
wrapped in boxes so tight, sounding only at night as you sleep

and in my dreams you're alive and you're crying,
as your mouth moves in mine, soft and sweet'


'i forgave but i never forgot
the smell of your leather seats
your beautiful eyes
& the rips in your jeans.'


'i say it, but i'm sure you knew
that you're what i look most forward to'

we got more bounce in california
Cheaaa. So I need a showaa. :( Lol. I gotta get one after I post this actually. Gotta work today, 1245 to 830 [weird hours, I know]. I don't wanna go, but I gotta. Oh well.

So figured I put up some stuff you can check out. Theres fiveunfamousVloggers on youtube, the vlog group Matt's in. Been checking out some videos, laughing my ass off. Well played, folks. :) So check them out.

Also, everyone should check out the song Dice by Finley Quaye. I first heard it on the New Years episode of the OC, season one and I loved it then. Finally searched it up on youtube, and still love it.

My myspace page? Check it: hit the myspizzleee

And also my youtube page, which hopefully, if I can get my stupid cam working, I'll be posting vids on, starting my own vlog sorta thing. xD : youtubing it hoee. And while you're over there on youtube, take the time out to watch [and love] Charlie the Unicorn, parts one, two, and three. You'll thank me. There's also, for those of you into Harry Potter, the Potter Puppet Pals. I highly reccomend all of them, but Wizard Swears and The Mysterious Ticking Noise are classics. So hit those up as well.

That's all for now. <3

This makes me mucho happy.

Not much to update on. Having a get together at Mandi's Friday evening. Hopefully Matt will show up. For whatever reason, I cannot stop liking him. I lose, I know. So far, Manda, Christina, and Fe are coming...and Dirty Danny Ray, ugh. Bastard. Lol, I don't like that guy.

Poetry tiemz nao plz?

these precious illusions..Collapse )

Sorry it's so much, but I haven't been able to post in a long time. :(

acknowledge me now or lose me forever.
The sweet sting of new love
Awakened by smiles
Translucent white skin
Traveling for miles

I'm following the path
You're creating with your hips
My eyes glued to the tongue
That darts fast between your lips

In sturdy concentration as you plot another move
Feeling the sharp rhythms
The drum beats and the grooves
The many modern moments
Created by a verse

Poetry in motion
You're so beautiful it hurts

And I still at the pounding
That is kicking like the bass
Of your heart behind your breast
That is lighting up your face

You come about your rapture
To thunderous applause
I stop; click, hold and capture
Your stunning held repose

One hand to the heart
The other pointed steep
Thanking god in heaven
For the ground beneath your feet

it amazes me, the will of instinct.
I'll update more, I swear. I just hit this up tonight to say R.I.P DJ AM. You'll be missed insanely, sir. Rock out in Heaven...if there is one anyway. Haha. <3

blinded by the white lighter.
Some recent pics..

@ the bottom

Joshie :D

He's Jesus!!

I'd have never been aware
I wrote a Haiku.

I believe one day
That I will be whole again
With or without you

See? 5-7-5. A haiku.

Not much to say except life blows.

I'm looking at you
I'm envious of all you
Have and all I don't

Haiku #2. Woop.


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